Comments on: Our Friendships Evolve Because We Do

By: Brittany Chaffee

Brittany Chaffee — Thu, 04 Aug 2022 20:33:44 +0000

Thank you so much, Ben!

By: Brittany

Brittany — Tue, 01 Feb 2022 18:46:20 +0000

In reply to Jill Marie.

Jill,
I’m so grateful you find solitude in these words! Thank you for taking them in 🙂
~Brittany

By: Jill Marie

Jill Marie — Tue, 01 Feb 2022 16:50:36 +0000

Excellent…so many valid points. Reading through made me feel less hurt over the friendships I’ve lost. Thank you.

By: Brittany Chaffee

Brittany Chaffee — Tue, 18 Jan 2022 18:52:55 +0000

In reply to Stephany. Stephany, I can believe it! Thank you for your kind words and wisdom. It's so helpful to hear from others experiencing this. Losing a friend is heartbreaking at times, but these shared stories can heal us in some way :)

By: Brittany Chaffee

Brittany Chaffee — Tue, 18 Jan 2022 18:52:04 +0000

In reply to Jenifer. Hi, Jenifer! Thank you very much for reading. It's so shocking to experience a friend breakup and definitely something we should share more with one another. We're totally not weird for this! And I'm checking out that Cup of Jo article right now :)

By: Stephany

Stephany — Tue, 18 Jan 2022 12:33:43 +0000

Just wait until you hit your 40s and 50s. This is a point, I feel, where we better know ourselves. Friendships slide away and I am left wondering if it was ever even real in the first place. I feel at this stage, friends are again take center stage. Children have grown and have become their own beings and marriages break apart. I am left with a lot of friends buried in their own lives with no time for what is come to be seen as “extras”. Spending time with girlfriends, having a night out is more than the extra that our society has deemed it to be. Finding your true tribe at this time of life is monumentally important as we move through a transition that isn’t always easy.
This article is a tipping point. Please keep writing about the importance of friends. The support we get from them is invaluable. We are not meant to do life alone.

By: Jenifer

Jenifer — Fri, 14 Jan 2022 18:39:28 +0000

Thank you for sharing your views on friendships and loss. The first time I heard about a friendship break up from another friend, “she broke up with me” I was shocked to even think someone could do that but it does happen and sometimes for the better. Lisa Rubisch wrote an excellent article on this subject on Cup of JO last year entitled Have you ever had a friendship breakup? I highly recommend reading that as well.

By: Brittany Chaffee

Brittany Chaffee — Fri, 14 Jan 2022 14:32:33 +0000

In reply to mika.

Mika,
Thank you so much for commenting! Your note made my morning. I’ve noticed this especially since the pandemic as well – great change can shake things up a lot and a lot of us our feeling loss. And YES! Catching up is so tough. I have a reminder on my calendar a few times a month to reach out to a friend and tell them I love them. That output can be trying sometimes, but it helps keeps me grounded with friends while I struggle. Sending love to you!
~Brittany

By: Brittany Chaffee

Brittany Chaffee — Fri, 14 Jan 2022 14:31:04 +0000

In reply to erin.

Erin,
Thank YOU for reading! I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your longtime friendship. I know that’s so hard, to lose someone without an in depth explanation, because a lot of us don’t know how to do friend breakups! They’re not discussed enough! They’re so easy to direct back onto ourselves, because our closest friends are part of us. Sending you love!
~Brittany

By: Brittany Chaffee

Brittany Chaffee — Fri, 14 Jan 2022 14:29:20 +0000

In reply to Brittany Chaffee.

PSA: found this one that might be interesting! https://open.spotify.com/show/7lycbEakhDPCfa6xChvFHT

By: Brittany Chaffee

Brittany Chaffee — Fri, 14 Jan 2022 14:28:12 +0000

In reply to Lili.

Lili,
Thank you so much for reading and commenting. So true! Friendships should be talked about in our world like love interests. Because they so closely mirror who we are. I have been heartbroken for so long when I lose friends and I want to understand how to cope/talk to others! Is there a podcast about platonic love? Maybe that’s an idea 😉
~Brittany

By: mika

mika — Fri, 14 Jan 2022 05:48:48 +0000

What a beautiful article, Brittany. I’ve found myself thinking about this topic A LOT during covid/isolation. I’ve had to disconnect from some close friends due to pure exhaustion -mentally and physically, and to preserve my mental health. Writing catch up emails, texts, and even making phone calls nowadays feels exhausting because, well, life is exhausting and stressful. I think you should propose a book on this topic! 🙂

By: erin

erin — Fri, 14 Jan 2022 00:01:24 +0000

Thank you for sharing this. You have found so many of the twists and turns in the loss of friendship. A year-and-a-half ago my friend of 25 years ended our friendship in a text with no explanation–she’d just invited me to visit her for a few weeks after i’d been harassed by a former student. It makes no sense. I am learning to grieve it. But there is very little language to talk about that grief. And there was so much shame at the beginning–what did I do? was I too needy? was I to blame for getting myself in a situation with the former student who was stalking me? I still have no answers. BUT I started asking myself how did this loss make way for other things and people that i’d been neglecting? What did I want in a friendship that I wasn’t getting for 25 years? It’s helped me to be thankful for what was and look forward to what was possible and unknown in new relationships. I am still grieving (and some days are terrible), but I have taken new risks in my relationships and work. And I have made space for new ideas, people, and experiences. And I think I’m actually happier without her friendship. Time is good. And the unknown is a gift.

By: Lili

Lili — Thu, 13 Jan 2022 17:28:59 +0000

Wow so poignant and touching. Huge fan of your writing, and I agree that friendship break ups deserve more priority and attention. When I first lost a best friend at 21, it was so painful and took years to process. It wasn’t like a romantic break up where I could cry for a week and vent to other platonic friends. Instead I shut down, didn’t talk about it, and tried my best to forget my old best friend. Also at the time, it felt humiliating to talk about my best friend leaving me. I felt like I was a terrible person, especially since the media portrays friendships as eternal and unconditional… when really fact of the matter is (like how you perfectly stated), women will drift in and out of our lives for so many reasons